no one understands my struggle right now or the hurdle I am abou to face. I am living in a suspense movie...where the psycho was revealed after he inflected scares and i've spent the last year running from that pain, I am about to turn a corner and there he will be waiting for me...the scares that have been healing will ripe open, I have to do all that I can to keep from crying, that will give him one last satisfaction that I cannot allow. I am glad that we have reached the end, but with all suspense movies, we are going out with a bang. . . the only question is will the psycho win by seeing a tear, wil the wounds that I have been heeling for the past year return when I come face to face with him? Have I become tough enough, have I become strong enough to face this task?

No one understands, I can't talk about it, going out and trying to ignore what I am about to face will not make me forget about it...no one understands.